Torscha
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what to do ?! - 2006/07/08 03:39
Okay, this will sound a little strange and perhaps even retarded...
I had NEVER been to a rave before until I hit the Goa scene in India last year. Yes really, never, and it feels like I`ve climbed out of a hole.  Since then I`ve been traveling around the world...
I love to dance, obviously, and be completely myself. I`ve had many people, even guys say they like my style, I know it`s very different... Such freedom of expression means I tend to dance very wildly, expressively and I jump around, just having fun and not caring what I look like (isn`t that the point?).
Here`s what happens: a beautiful girl, I mean sometimes the most perfect-looking woman I`ve ever seen, comes out of nowhere and just positions herself right in front of me. I mean, close! Oh wow, it would be `just a nice view` if she didn`t keep glancing back at me, sometimes playing with her hair and turning back to look at me, or sometimes slowly moving to back right into me, if I didn`t get out of the way. I`m a guy, obviously, and this is sometimes just TOOOOO much. Then we seem to take turns watching each other move to the music... it`s so sexual, Oh man, I get so turned on. I know I`m not imagining things, I like to smoke weed/hash but don`t usually drop pills...can I EVER pick this woman up? Seriously. Yes I`ve tried, enough times (and just to talk or whatever) and I always get a surprised look, sometimes a look of disappointment, it`s so weird. (I told you my question was going to sound retarded...) Honestly, it`s like the perfect fantasy for me meeting someone and it always crumbles. What on earth am I doing wrong???
Perhaps I am a bit too expressive when I dance? I always know if there`s real attraction for me, I`m sure of it but I always f*ck it up...
And as an aside, I have started to like MDMA now too, I`ve tried it only once so far, but if I do at the next rave I fear I may be even more expressive still... and then perhaps make a fool of myself? Sheesh. Never did I expect to be posting a question about this here, sometimes I am so clueless! I feel like I`m 14 again, sorry guys...I`ve dated many many women, sure, but this rave scene feels like a completely different world to me...
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